


faith

by PyjamaEnzel



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyjamaEnzel/pseuds/PyjamaEnzel
Summary: A little theology discussion between academic and layman. (or: this Warrior of Light is a little bit dumb.)Takes place near the end of HW patches, post 3.4 but before Baelsar's Wall. (Roegadyn [Sea Wolf] Warrior of Light)
Relationships: Alphinaud Leveilleur & Warrior of Light
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	faith

**Author's Note:**

> Holds up interestingly after the revelations in SHB, but it still makes sense given the in-universe knowledge at the time...

“After everything--how do you keep faith?”

Imry looked down at him, eyes a little wide, clearly not expecting the question. Considering how quickly she usually spoke, it took quite a while for her to reply.

“What do you mean…?”

Alphinaud swallowed, shifting from one foot to another in an uncharacteristic display of nerves.

“Perhaps this is...a terrible thing to say...but I've thought on the subject time and time again, and...what we know now of the nature of primals…”

His shoulders slumped. “Do you still believe the Twelve exist? Or are they just figments that ancient people conjured up to comfort themselves in dark times? How can we ever know…?”

Imry was silent for a while, and for the life of him he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Just as he was about to regret speaking, she said--

“Of course they exist.” It wasn't accusatory or offended, to his relief. Just matter of fact.

“You sound so certain. The Calamity--what my grandfather did...in some ways it was no different from any other summoning, and--”

“That doesn't really matter,” she said. “Gods aren't primals.”

 _Ah,_ he thought, with a vague disappointment. _Perhaps I chose the wrong person to discuss theology with…_

“I mean--” Imry went on. “Primals are gods, sort of? But it's not the other way around--” She paused again, frowning deeply. He waited for a moment, but she seemed lost in thought.

“I...apologize. I shouldn't have said such things...after all, you've met Hydaelyn herself--of course you wouldn't have doubts.”

Imry blinked. “Hydaelyn isn't a god.”

Alphinaud stared at her.

“She's the Mother Crystal. It's different. I guess people do pray to her, but she's here, you know? Right here beneath our feet, and all around us. She's got thoughts and feelings just like us even if her body is different. So...I guess she's like a person, just bigger.”

He bit his tongue and thought, _well, I've been out-blasphemed._

“And primals aren't so different. They exist here, it's just that they can't exist for too long or else bad things start to happen--but they exist. People make them. But each time, they’re different because the person that made them is different.”

“They're created through prayer…” he began, uncertain.

“They're made because people don't think their prayers are being answered fast enough. So they're _making_ the answer.”

This was something in all his hours of contemplation he'd somehow never considered. 

“I'm not sure the gods--the real gods--can answer prayers that directly. But people get scared and desperate...I know primals are bad, but it's also sort of amazing that people themselves have that kind of power to make their wishes come true.” Imry shook her head. “I just wish they could understand that the way to fix things is to work together, not summon them…”

“Then--you mean that gods and primals are separate entities.”

“Enti...oh! Right! That's right. It's as if...you had an amazing meal once and you try to make it yourself someday, but it's never going to be quite the same as the one you ate.”

Alphinaud had to try very hard not to laugh. Trust her to bring things back to food--

“If I may...please don't take this the wrong way, but...if you don't believe the gods can intervene in our lives directly, what is the purpose of prayer?”

“Not directly doesn't mean not at all, right? And besides...sometimes…” She looked away then, over the vast expanse of tangled undergrowth, to the harsh artificial lights of the Wall. “Sometimes it's just comforting to know someone's listening. But I try not to think about it too hard. Gods are supposed to be mysterious, so it's okay that we don't know everything about them.” 

He watched her silently for a moment, considering how differently the conversation would have gone if he'd asked Akiv'a instead. _Did I go to her because I was afraid of a summoner's answer?_ He swallowed hard, looking away.

For someone raised to value and seek knowledge, it was strange to admit that being told it was all right _not_ to understand...to be at peace with ignorance for once...was a little reassuring.

"I'm not certain...it's in my nature to stop looking for an answer," he said finally, tentatively. Imry glanced at him again, tilting her head.

"Well, that's what you're good at," she said, and then sighed wistfully. Alphinaud frowned. 

"I apologize--"

"No, its all right...I'm just not very good at this whole--you know. Phil--philsif..." She bit her lip. "Thinking...thing. You know."

"Philosophy?" he offered. "But in this case it would--"

"Philosophy!" She interrupted, looking relieved. He scolded himself inwardly.

 _You know what she_ means _to say, even if she doesn't always have the right words--no need to nitpick! It'll just discourage her._ He took a deep breath.

"Imry, I--I asked because I value your insight. Perhaps it's true that--" _Tact, Alphinaud, you oaf!!_ He could feel his cheeks and ears burning. "No, I appreciate--that your perspective--it's refreshing."

Imry stared at him, uncertain.

"You notice things other people don't!" he added hastily. 

Her eyes widened a little. "Really?"

"Really," he said firmly. "Sometimes I--well. I get caught up, and...believe things are much more complicated than they need to be. It's helpful to hear the thoughts of someone who thinks differently."

Before he could react, she was down on one knee and wrapping her arms around him. Alphinaud bit back a very undignified noise of surprise.

"Imry??" he asked, bewildered, though grateful that she'd remembered not to accidentally crush him in her enthusiasm this time. (He was fairly certain the first time he'd been subjected to one of her hugs, he'd come out of it with bruised ribs.) He held his breath a little; she smelled of leather and metal and rather needed a bath, though he probably did as well. They'd been on the road too long.

After a moment, he reached up tentatively to pat her back with one hand, though he wasn’t sure if she could feel it through her armor. Concerned, he watched her face as she drew back for any signs of distress.

On the contrary, she seemed strangely relieved. "I don't really get it--but I'm happy to help, anytime.”

She took a moment before getting to her feet again, and he was struck by seeing her face up close for the first time in a while, given that at his full height he hardly reached her waist. _She looks younger somehow...well, that's right, she barely has a summer and a bit on me in age, after all._ It was easy enough to forget sometimes, after all they'd seen, and the battles she'd fought.

He swallowed. "Of course, if there's anything you need from me in return, I--"

"Don't worry about that," Imry said, giving him a grin. "Already got it."

It took Alphinaud a moment to realize she meant the hug, at which he felt his face turning red again. He coughed, looking away, suddenly grateful that the trees of the Shroud filtered midday into a dim twilight.


End file.
